Hello again, peons. I'm back to gift you with more of my wisdom, undeserving though you certainly are.
My human has almost completely transitioned me onto my new food. She tried to put me on Wellness Core Indoor, since she got the bag free from work (like I'd eat what she hasn't put her own sweat into). It turned out to be too rich for my delicate digestion and gave me diarrhea, which I showed my thanks for by leaving fecal marks on her bed and carpet. She gave the bag away and went with her original plan of transitioning me to Natural Balance Indoor Ultra. Since then, I haven't had diarrhea again though she had to slowly change my food over three weeks.
She also stopped using the HomeoPet digestive enzymes since it didn't work, putting me on Tomlyn brand Laxatone Natural instead for my furballs. She mixes it into my and Selphie's wet food in the mornings, and says I've been making progress. I've reduced the time between furballs to three or four days. She has also taken to brushing me once a day, which I fight, telling me the lie that it will also help reduce my vomiting. I don't appreciate the flavor of the Laxatone, but she insists it was the only formula that didn't contain corn syrup.
And now for the holidays. I've come to appreciate the tree my human set up, laying on the tree skirt beneath and watching my pitiful human keepers go about their business. My sister keeps up her heathen ways by knocking the shatter-proof ornaments from the tree and chewing on the plastic branches. I'm waiting for the day she chews the wire.
There are some things I do not appreciate during this time of lights and cat stockings: some of those things are raisins, garlic, holly and mistletoe. Below I've included a list via Petfinder of those things which neither I nor the dog SHOULD EVER EAT. So please, help us enjoy the holidays as well by avoiding these things and replacing with stockings filled with toys and Feline Greenies, and some fantastic Soulistic Pumpkin Soup.
Link: http://www.petfinder.com/pet-care/banfield-holiday-pet-safety.html
Monday, December 10, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
My Harrowing Journey
Hello peons, and welcome to my blog. My name is Mistress Tweaks-A-Lot Langford, but you can call me Tweak. I'm a rescue cat, about seven or eight years old. I'm a gorgeous long-haired calico, with stunning green eyes and a princess demeanor. I was recently forced on a four day road trip from Cleveland, Ohio to San Diego, California, more specifically Carlsbad. In recompense, I vomited a particularly nasty mixture onto her shoulder in the car. The fact that she had to run out and vomit herself made it all the more enjoyable.
I suppose she tried to make me comfortable, knowing my sister Selphie and I hate to travel. We had a litter and fresh water, and Soulistic wet food at night. She let us ride in the footwell of the passenger side, in front of the air conditioning vent. She gave us something called Rescue Remedy for anxiety, and natural anti-anxiety collars by Sentry. I rode on her lap and on the seat next to her most of the time, sometimes venturing into the aquarium packed in the back or on the dashboard up front.
Nonetheless, I've decided to make the best of my situation. My new apartment is nice though too cheap for my tastes, and there is a screen door onto the balcony that I lay next to. My focus shall turn to the plight of my fellow felines, and advice for cat-lovers out there. Strange though you are, you mostly have our best interests at heart.
For instance: my human has been insisting I have a weight problem. I am too skinny, she tells me, and throwing up every day isn't healthy. She has decided to switch my food from Natural Balance Green Pea and Salmon to Natural Balance Ultra Indoor Formula. According to her, this could help with my hairballs and my two year old adopted sister's weight. My sister, Selphie, has a pendulous flap that sways from her abdomen when she walks even though she's never had kittens. My human says she's hefty, but I say she's fat. In addition to our new food, we will be getting Indoor Formula canned food in the morning and evening, with a homeopathic remedy for feline digestive upsets by HomeoPet.
I'll update with any progress my poor human makes. She just doesn't understand what an honor it is to keep my house and litterbox.
Me.
Selphie.
I suppose she tried to make me comfortable, knowing my sister Selphie and I hate to travel. We had a litter and fresh water, and Soulistic wet food at night. She let us ride in the footwell of the passenger side, in front of the air conditioning vent. She gave us something called Rescue Remedy for anxiety, and natural anti-anxiety collars by Sentry. I rode on her lap and on the seat next to her most of the time, sometimes venturing into the aquarium packed in the back or on the dashboard up front.
Nonetheless, I've decided to make the best of my situation. My new apartment is nice though too cheap for my tastes, and there is a screen door onto the balcony that I lay next to. My focus shall turn to the plight of my fellow felines, and advice for cat-lovers out there. Strange though you are, you mostly have our best interests at heart.
For instance: my human has been insisting I have a weight problem. I am too skinny, she tells me, and throwing up every day isn't healthy. She has decided to switch my food from Natural Balance Green Pea and Salmon to Natural Balance Ultra Indoor Formula. According to her, this could help with my hairballs and my two year old adopted sister's weight. My sister, Selphie, has a pendulous flap that sways from her abdomen when she walks even though she's never had kittens. My human says she's hefty, but I say she's fat. In addition to our new food, we will be getting Indoor Formula canned food in the morning and evening, with a homeopathic remedy for feline digestive upsets by HomeoPet.
I'll update with any progress my poor human makes. She just doesn't understand what an honor it is to keep my house and litterbox.
Me.
Selphie.
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