A Lesson in Defeat (Also, The Holidays)

Hello again, peons. I'm back to gift you with more of my wisdom, undeserving though you certainly are.

My human has almost completely transitioned me onto my new food. She tried to put me on Wellness Core Indoor, since she got the bag free from work (like I'd eat what she hasn't put her own sweat into). It turned out to be too rich for my delicate digestion and gave me diarrhea, which I showed my thanks for by leaving fecal marks on her bed and carpet. She gave the bag away and went with her original plan of transitioning me to Natural Balance Indoor Ultra. Since then, I haven't had diarrhea again though she had to slowly change my food over three weeks.

She also stopped using the HomeoPet digestive enzymes since it didn't work, putting me on Tomlyn brand Laxatone Natural instead for my furballs. She mixes it into my and Selphie's wet food in the mornings, and says I've been making progress. I've reduced the time between furballs to three or four days. She has also taken to brushing me once a day, which I fight, telling me the lie that it will also help reduce my vomiting. I don't appreciate the flavor of the Laxatone, but she insists it was the only formula that didn't contain corn syrup.

And now for the holidays. I've come to appreciate the tree my human set up, laying on the tree skirt beneath and watching my pitiful human keepers go about their business. My sister keeps up her heathen ways by knocking the shatter-proof ornaments from the tree and chewing on the plastic branches. I'm waiting for the day she chews the wire.

There are some things I do not appreciate during this time of lights and cat stockings: some of those things are raisins, garlic, holly and mistletoe. Below I've included a list via Petfinder of those things which neither I nor the dog SHOULD EVER EAT. So please, help us enjoy the holidays as well by avoiding these things and replacing with stockings filled with toys and Feline Greenies, and some fantastic Soulistic Pumpkin Soup.

Link: http://www.petfinder.com/pet-care/banfield-holiday-pet-safety.html